House Warming

My parents just built a second house in the oil fields of New Mexico.  Some people are lucky enough to have a second house at the beach, on a lake, or in the mountains...but since my father's career has him in the oil plays of New Mexico for the next few years - my parents' second home is a short drive from an oil refinery.  Ha!  My parents are together, which is what matters most...a home is where your heart is...and my parents home is lovely.  To celebrate this occasion, we gave my parents this Paola Navone ceramic vase as a house warming gift.  My taste and my mother's taste are very similar...we love all things blue!  There's not a shade of blue we don't love!

My mother loved the vase, as I knew she would.  I loved the vase too, as I knew I would.  So I bought one for me too.  One for you and one for me! 

My husband says I have a hard time separating NEEDS from WANTS, but in Texas when I walk in my front door and see this fun vase I think of my mother in New Mexico and her fun vase too.  Who doesn't NEED that?

Pound Cake is Love

Growing up my late grandmother always made me a sour cream pound cake for my birthday.  It was a tradition.  I love a good slice of pound cake.  I'd rarely share my beloved birthday pound cake, because my grandmother didn't fool around with adding almond extract or lemon extract or chocolate to her pound cakes.  She baked a perfect pound cake - with the rich buttery flavor, a hint of vanilla, and that delicious top crust over a moist cake.

Later in life my mother took over the pound cake birthday tradition.  (I'm so loved!) She searched the Internet for the perfect recipe, and she tested recipes on my father.   Once she mistakenly added almond extract - I had to tell her that's incorrect!  Finally my mother found a perfect pound cake.  The recipe is called "Elvis Presley's Favorite Pound Cake."

My mother baked the cake this year and we froze sections of the cake.  I have no self control.  I just took out 1/4 of a pound cake from the freezer and ate it for breakfast.  When I eat the cake I think of my grandmother, my mother, and how lucky I am to feel so loved, valued, and appreciated.
   

Go West Young Lady (and Man)

Today my parents are chasing the sun.  Last week my father went to New Mexico to meet the movers, and my mother stayed behind to oversee a few house projects in Texas, which included installing a new sprinkler system.  My mother will no longer be able to work a hose around her yard in the earlier morning hours of the hot Texas summers- she'll be west!

On Friday my father flew back to Texas, and today my father's sequoia is loaded down with Blue (chocolate Labrador retriever) and Annie (Jack Russell Terrier), and my mother is following in her two-seater Infiniti.  While I'm quite certain my mother is physically following my father on their westward adventure, I'm less certain my mother is mentally following my father on their westward adventure.  They haven't sold their Texas house, and my mother has already booked hair appointments every five weeks- she'll be back.  My mother has also had many weepy moments these past two weeks.  I know it's hard to put miles between you and your loved ones, but at least we're living in 2014!  We can talk, text, sametime, and email every day!

I have no doubt once my mother gets settled she'll enjoy this adventure in their life.  Like so many couples before them, my parents have gone west - it's an adventure!  When you're 58 and 60 years old you need to seize the adventures in life, because it keeps you acting (feeling?) young.

Cole at Nordstrom

My mother has a new Bestie named Cole.  We're taking our parents with us to witness us getting legally married next weekend in California, and my mother went shopping to get ready for the trip.  It's the first time she's flown since her traumatic brain injury 22 months ago, and it's important to look good especially if your head is constantly spinning, right mom?  ("The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.")

My mother needed a new purse and she bonded with Cole (clearly a homosexual) at Nordstrom because my mother's gay son (that's me) is going to get legally married in California.  Hooray!

My mother now owns a beautiful Kate Spade purple purse...

Mother's Day

My mother and father drove to Dallas so we could take them out to lunch to celebrate Mother's Day.  (My husband's mother is visiting my husband's sister and was unavailable for lunch!)  My parents and my husband and I dinned on fried chicken, crab cakes, squash puppies, mashed potatoes, friend okra,  cheese grits, collared greens, and biscuits & cornbread at Sissy's Southern Kitchen on Henderson Ave.  It was a fat kid lunch that made afternoon yoga challenging. I always enjoy spending time with my parents.

We bought my mother a tricolored overnight bag as a gift and encouraged her to come see us more often!

Both of us have loving mothers.  Mother's Day is an important day!

Love you Mom!

Cake is Love

My mother tried a new pound cake recipe, which she received from a former student on Facebook.  She baked the cake, and then sent it home with me.  Cake is love.  It's delicious.  It's too good to share with people that aren't passionate about pound cake!  I wonder how many yoga classes I will have to take to offset eating an entire pound cake?  Do you only gain a pound of fat from eating an entire pound cake?

Thank you mom.  I love you.

Tethered Forever

I was blue for no reason yesterday.  I'm fine today.  Yesterday, however, I was blue.  It happens.  I'm human.  After a demanding week at work I came home to an empty house (my husband is at school), I'm fighting a cold,  and I suspect one of our dog sitters forgot to feed our dogs on Wednesday.  The dogs are fine, but regardless I felt like I failed my little beasts.  Usually when I'm blue I try to hide it from the world.  I didn't speak to my mother all day yesterday, and the last time we spoke all was happy, happy rainbows in my world.  And yet yesterday she telephoned me around 8:00 PM.  She was just calling to check on me because she felt something.

My mother and I have an invisible tether.  It's like I'm a kite flying in the air, and she's holding the line on the ground.   From her home 90 miles away, she can tell when I'm not soaring.  She can feel when I'm a bit blue.  I appreciated the call.  Who doesn't love a call from their mother?  It's comforting.

I hope I have the same connection to our future children.

YETI Love

My parents are having a great year in their small business.  To celebrate their achievement, they sent my husband an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.  My husband has been working full-time and going to school full-time and I think my parents also wanted to send him some extra love. They sent him a UT Longhorn YETI cooler, which is every man's dream ice chest!  (Yes, gay men love YETI's too!)

It touched me because my father sent this handwritten note along with the gift to my husband.

"Dear [My Husband's Name],

We love you. Enjoy!

[My parents' names]"

To see my parents love and cherish my husband is a gift to me.  So much love!  Love it.

QOTD

"I just now watched that video of Sally Field. That was great - both she and her son. Very impressive. Thanks for sending it. I so love my son and brother who nature made different than my other son and my sister..... And "so the fuck what!". .... Big Smile"

-My mom in a family email

I want to know...

...can I put my 57 year old (today's her birthday) mother in a nursing home?!  I think she'll be thirty years younger than everyone else, but maybe she'll be safer?  She accidentally fell last week.  She's okay.  But I'm not okay!  In December she fractured her skull and suffered a traumatic brain injury, which is healing still.  I worry about her.  Mothers are supposed to worry about their sons- that's normal.  This son doesn't like worrying about his mother- I don't want that to become normal.

At least my mother gets up after she gets knocked down- figuratively and literally.  Happy Birthday mom.  I love you.  Now, don't accidentally fall down any more.

Cake is Love

My grandmother always baked, especially for me, her sour cream pound cake on my birthday.  It was a tradition.  Last year my mother offered to take over the tradition, since my grandmother really couldn't bake any more.  This year my mother once again baked me her pound cake on my birthday.  It was delicious.  I wrapped up several slices and froze the divine cake my mother baked especially for me.  This weekend I ate the last slice.  I love this cake.  I also love that eating the cake some how some way connects me to both my grandmother and mother.

Thanks mom!  I love you.

Beautiful Mother

About a year ago, I saw this Bitossi Ceramics in Rimini Blu plater and I immediately thought of my mother.  I bought it to give to her for Christmas, but after a few months I took it out of the closest and gave the gift to myself.  (Does that make me selfish?)  I would find another Christmas gift for my mother.  When she was at the house I pointed it out as her gift that I gave myself.  She tried to steal it from my house a few times - as a joke.  This year for my birthday my mother saw the cylindrical vessel and immediately thought of me.  She bought it and gave it to me even though it would look beautiful in her house too.

I think we proved again that my mother is a better person than I am.  I think of my mother when I see these ceramics in my house.  I love it.

Love our Moms

Gay men love their moms.  We celebrate the love for our moms year-round.  We spent time with my mother on Saturday night (Mother's Day eve?) and we spent a fast lunch with my husbands' mother on Sunday, Mother's Day.

My mother lost her mother in October and this was the first motherless mother's day for my mother.  It wasn't easy.  I feel very grateful to have two moms in our life.

Happiness is wanting what you have.  We have two moms (and dads)!

So Much Love

Life includes disappointments, missed opportunities, sadness and losses for each and every one of us.  That's life.  The challenges in life only ensure that we can celebrate with more enthusiasm the joys, gifts, and happiness-es that are also included in life.  Life is beautiful.

In October, my mother lost her mother after a long battle with cancer.  In December, my mother had an accident which fractured her skull and bruised her brain. She has a traumatic brain injury, which is still healing.  This year my mother retired so she could focus on healing.  My mom loved her job; she was passionate about teaching.  She was passionate about her students.  And apparently my mom's high school loved her too because the entire high school created an Lip Dub dedicated to my mother.

As her son, it overwhelms my heart with happiness and love when I watch this video and hear the entire school yell at the end "We love you Mrs. Parker."

You must watch this 8 minute video.

Life is beautiful.

Ice Cream In February

My husband also always asks my mother to make her homemade ice cream for his birthday, and normally she "rain checks" his request until the summer.  Normally, she says it's too cold to make homemade ice cream in the winter!  However, this year she surprised my husband with ice cream in February!  She made him feel special.

My brother was in charge of the birthday cake, and he picked a "Disney Princess" cake because he knew our nieces would love it!  And my husband's happy if Presley and Paxten are happy.

Alive Awake Alert Enthusiastic

What a week.  Here's the numbers that have been swirling in my mind this past week:

• One week
• Two parents
• Three emergency room visits
• Six nights in the hospital
• One long road to recovery

Who knew my father was so romantic?   While my mother was in the hospital recovering from her brain trauma my father, perhaps in an act of solidarity, had a mild stroke and ended up in the hospital too.  The good news is that, in time, they both are expected to recover nicely.  Also, this week has focused my entire family on what's important- the joy of living!  Life is short, fragile, delicate, and can unexpectedly change at any time.  Life is a risky journey; therefore, we need to soak up the joy in each moment we have together.

I think we might rename "Christmas" this year.  We're going to call it "Thanksgiving" because my family is so thankful that my parents will be a-okay!

Family Trauma

We had a very scary weekend, but I think the worst is behind us now.  It's safe to smile again.

My young (56) and healthy (she walks 1.5 hours a day) mother accidentally fell on Friday morning and it was a couple of hours before my father discovered her unconscious.  (We're so lucky my father wasn't away on business.)  The ambulance rushed her to the closest hospital, and then transferred her to a trauma hospital.  She spent the weekend in ICU, but she got moved to a regular hospital room last night.  I hope she'll be home by the end of the week.

From the moment I got the 9-1-1 call from my father early Friday morning until we spoke with the brain surgeons on Friday evening I thought I might have to live in a world without my mother.  I was both terrified and angry.  Lucky for me, my mother is expected to make a full recovery. 

I'm already practicing the don't-ever-accidentally-get-hurt-again lecture I plan to deliver once she bounces back.

My mind is still spinning a bit, but when I saw my mother's eyes "light up" when she saw me in her hospital room this morning I knew everything was going to be alright, eventually. 

If you could please send healing thoughts and prayers to my mother I would appreciate it.

Mother and Son

I spent Saturday with my parents in Canton, Texas. About mid-afternoon my father went in search of something refreshing to drink, lemonade, while my mother and I stepped into a little art gallery/jewelry store.  It was a small space.  No other customers were inside and so perhaps we felt free to interact with each other openly.  The store was interesting enough that we lingered longer than usual.

When we were checking out the lady behind the cash register introduced herself as the artist.  She also asked my mother if I was her son.  Of course my mother claimed me.  The artist went on to explain that she has a son, Adam, and our interaction reminded her of her interaction with her son.  She said nothing is more special than the relationship of a mother and son.  The artist said she could tell we had a special relationship.

I think my mother started to tear up at this point.  However, the nice artist yelled at her to STOP THAT!  She said my mom can't do that in her store, because if my mom cries then the artist would have to cry too.  They both laughed and the laughter allowed my mother to pull back her tears.

While all this was going on I immediately thought of my uncle, my mother's brother.  Last month my grandmother died.  And with her death my uncle lost the special relationship a mother has with her son.  It made me sad.  If I put myself in my uncle's shoes, then it's frightening to think that I wouldn't be able to call, email, text, or hang out with my mother. 

I love my mom!

Canton

On Saturday, my mother, my father and I went to Canton's First Monday Trade Days!  It was not an unique idea, that place was covered up with people, but it was a great idea.  The weather was beautiful.  The shopping was an adventure.  And at two different points in the day we ate blackberry cobbler and sour cherry cobbler.  It was a great day!

Although, when we got back to the house I had to explain to my husband why we "needed" $100 worth of new Tupperware.

Twenty FIve Years

My mother was 25 when she gave birth to me; however, the older I get the closer to my age my mother becomes- or at least that's the way it feels.  My mother turns 56 at the end of this week.  Ten years ago she was 46; in fifteen years I'll be 46.  The difference between 31 and 56 doesn't seem as great as the difference between 5 and 30.   Is it just me?