Friday, October 31, 2014


"...While I have never denied my sexuality, I haven’t publicly acknowledged it either, until now. So let me be clear: I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me.

"Being gay has given me a deeper understanding of what it means to be in the minority and provided a window into the challenges that people in other minority groups deal with every day. It’s made me more empathetic, which has led to a richer life. It’s been tough and uncomfortable at times, but it has given me the confidence to be myself, to follow my own path, and to rise above adversity and bigotry. It’s also given me the skin of a rhinoceros, which comes in handy when you’re the CEO of Apple.

"The world has changed so much since I was a kid. America is moving toward marriage equality, and the public figures who have bravely come out have helped change perceptions and made our culture more tolerant. Still, there are laws on the books in a majority of states that allow employers to fire people based solely on their sexual orientation. There are many places where landlords can evict tenants for being gay, or where we can be barred from visiting sick partners and sharing in their legacies. Countless people, particularly kids, face fear and abuse every day because of their sexual orientation.

"I don’t consider myself an activist, but I realize how much I’ve benefited from the sacrifice of others. So if hearing that the CEO of Apple is gay can help someone struggling to come to terms with who he or she is, or bring comfort to anyone who feels alone, or inspire people to insist on their equality, then it’s worth the trade-off with my own privacy.

"I’ll admit that this wasn’t an easy choice. Privacy remains important to me, and I’d like to hold on to a small amount of it. I’ve made Apple my life’s work, and I will continue to spend virtually all of my waking time focused on being the best CEO I can be. That’s what our employees deserve—and our customers, developers, shareholders, and supplier partners deserve it, too. Part of social progress is understanding that a person is not defined only by one’s sexuality, race, or gender. I’m an engineer, an uncle, a nature lover, a fitness nut, a son of the South, a sports fanatic, and many other things. I hope that people will respect my desire to focus on the things I’m best suited for and the work that brings me joy.

"The company I am so fortunate to lead has long advocated for human rights and equality for all. We’ve taken a strong stand in support of a workplace equality bill before Congress, just as we stood for marriage equality in our home state of California. And we spoke up in Arizona when that state’s legislature passed a discriminatory bill targeting the gay community. We’ll continue to fight for our values, and I believe that any CEO of this incredible company, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation, would do the same. And I will personally continue to advocate for equality for all people until my toes point up.

"When I arrive in my office each morning, I’m greeted by framed photos of Dr. King and Robert F. Kennedy. I don’t pretend that writing this puts me in their league. All it does is allow me to look at those pictures and know that I’m doing my part, however small, to help others. We pave the sunlit path toward justice together, brick by brick. This is my brick."

- Tim Cook CEO of Apple

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

How'd we get here?

Long time readers of this blog know my husband and I are slowly and surely moving towards fatherhood.  There's no baby in the works, but we're lining things up.  The environment in which we will be raising our future children in is very different from the environment I was raised in, which bothers me a bit.

For example, most of our friends with children have help from a nanny.  I understand if you have two careers and you need weekday help from a nanny, but we have friends that are in single income households and they too have help from a nanny.  We went to a barbecue two Saturdays ago and one family showed up: mother, father, children, and the nanny.

Another example, we were asking our friends in the 'sac how much candy we need to buy to get ready for Halloween, and our friend told us to buy lots of candy because our neighborhood is visited by lots of (she switched to a whisper:) "apartment kids."  She went on to tell a sweet story about a kid knocking on her door at 8 PM last year excited that her porch light was still on because his mom just got home from work and everyone else had stopped handing out candy.  Our friend emptied her candy bowl into his sack.

Our bubble is full of kind and generous friends.  No one is being mean, but the environment is unrecognizable from the environment I grew up in...part of  me wants to sell out and move back to my hometown to raise our children.  That's not really going to happen, which means I will need to need to poke holes in our bubble.  I want my kids to know that kids who live in apartments should not be labeled "apartment kids."

Now I know why my father always made me work the hottest hardest jobs in the summers growing up.

Monday, October 27, 2014


From The Telegraph interview with pop star Ariana Grande.

"Grande was raised a Catholic, but in adolescence began questioning her faith out of love and support for her brother, who is gay. ‘When my brother was told that God didn’t love him I was like, “OK, that’s not cool.” They were building a Kabbalah centre in Florida so we both checked it out and really had a connection with it.’

"The Kabbalah movement – Madonna is its most high-profile adherent – ‘sort of stuck with me. And since then my life has unfolded in a really beautiful way, and I think that it has a lot to do with the tools I’ve learnt through Kabbalah, I really do.’

Creamed Spinach

This weekend I decided I need a go-to creamed spinach recipe in my wheel house.  This weekend I made Martha Stewart's recipe, which was Big Martha's recipe.
It was okay but not great.  It was very simple. I think I need one with more flavor - like cheese!  The research continues. (If you have a creamed spinach recipe you love, then email it to me.)

My husband grilled the best steak this weekend.  I like my steak like I like my tuna - seared.  I usually don't like to eat steaks outside of fine dinning restaurants, because it's hard for home cooks to serve a rare piece of meat. 
This weekend we also perfected our baked potato recipe. My mother said the key to a good baked potato is high heat - 475 degrees.  My husband said the key to a good baked potato is to wash it and roll it in salt before you bake it.  When you put my mother's and my husband's skills together, then you have the best potato! I ate the skin and all.
In a few weeks we're hosting family for my father's 61st birthday - I'm testing these recipes to create a menu for the group. 

Monday, October 20, 2014

Birthday Weekend

My husband's mother had a birthday this weekend.  Since she looks so youthful and acts so youthful we decided it was more fun to celebrate her 46th birthday.  Yes, she turned 46, which means she was 12 when she had my husband and 8 when she had my husband's sister- don't worry about the details! It was a party!

My husband's parents are headed on a three week vacation in New Zealand with their life long best friends, and they've signed up for a 12 mile hike to get to a 5 star hotel.  The hike is supposed to be spectacular.  I am really looking forward to seeing the pictures.  Now does a 12 mile hike seem like something a 64 year old would sign up for?  No.  It sounds like something a 46 year old would sign up for.

The key takeaway: in order to be young you have to act young!  Have a fun trip!

Wedding Weekend

My husband and I had the best weekend at Dave and Myranda's wedding.  We were ushers in their wedding - and we dominated.  We had the job of opening the giant wooden doors so the bride and her father could make a grand entrance into the chapel.  It was awesome because as we flung the doors open my husband said something that made the bride laugh and I played off my husband-  later at the reception she said she was so nervous until she saw us and we made her laugh.

The key takeaway is that in life you should always laugh!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Movie Time

It's fall.  I'm really enjoying the cooler weather.  The cool breeze made me realize that the summer movie season is over, and although we don't go to the movies as much as we used to - I have to say my two favorite movies this summer were Guardians of the Galaxy and Edge of Tomorrow.  Did you see these films?
I didn't think I was a super hero kinda guy, but Guardians is an amazing film.  I laughed.  I might have cried. I was entertained.
Stick with Edge of Tomorrow - I giggled the first ten minutes because it's hard for me to take Tom Cruise seriously nowadays, since he's been sending out the crazy/controlling vibe, but after I got accustomed to seeing Tom Cruise I was all in on this film.  I actually don't know why Edge of Tomorrow didn't do better at the box office. It's interesting.  It's fun.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Pool Boy

The question is: Must you have a POOL in order to have a POOL boy?  I guess without a pool it would be a house boy?  I ask these important questions because our BFF Del spent 48 hours in Dallas and it was greatness.  On his first night he had dinner on the table by the time my husband and I arrived home from work.

He cooked (fake) fried chicken and (fake) fried chicken livers - he uses cornflakes in his fake fried chicken recipe.  The chicken was served with bacon and garlic green beans, crispy Brussels sprouts, and whipped potatoes.  It was a Sunday supper on a week night.

On the second day, Del worked from our home which means he was able to accept a delivery.  I did not have to run home from the office because Del was running the house.

I need Del to be our full time house boy.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Fair Day

We spent a few hours on Sunday with my brother and his crew at the State Fair.  I am always amazed at the 1,200 pound pig on display near the agriculture buildings.  As a child I wanted a pet pig.  My parents never allowed it.  Now I know why.

My husband ate one corny dog.  I ate two.  We looked at the new cars on exhibit.  And when my brother arrived with his wife and my nieces we each paid $8 to make two loops around the giant Texas Ferris Wheel (money grab).  We were making memories (priceless).  We went on to watch our nieces enjoy the midway rides.

Early afternoon we left my brother and his wife and my nieces (and the masses) and went to yoga.  My dress pants are getting tight.  I need to work out more and eat less.  Why did I eat that second corny dog?  I love corny dogs at the State Fair.

Boom Goes the Gay Dynamite

This has been a busy week in the continued fight for equality for all, equality for even the gay Americans!  I'm glad those nice guys at The Slate created an interactive map titled Your Guide to the Gay Marriage Fight to help us keep up with the facts.

As you know, my husband and I had a wedding in Austin, Texas on May 13, 2006 in front of our friends and family, and my husband and I were legally married in Santa Barbara, California on November 2, 2013.  It's been an adventure.

Equality is important - for us and for the future generations.

We have a neighbor who's a few years older than us and he was once (I think in the 1980's) fired from a job because his employer discovered he was gay.  He rallied.  He has a husband and two beautiful daughters - and he is our neighbor, which is a reward in itself!  I have not been fired for being gay; in my professional career to date two of my three employers found my diversity to be an asset; the other employer was indifferent, which is a victory in its own way.

One day it will be hard for us to remember a time when gay people didn't have equal rights.  We're not there yet, but we're getting close.

The fight continues...

Monday, October 6, 2014

Katy Perry Does Dallas, Twice

Katy Perry had two sold out shows in Dallas leading up to the weekend.  One of my husband's best friends has a top position at a firm with a box at the American Airlines Center, which means it's easy for him to secure tickets.  My husband was on the west coast through Saturday, but I pounced at the chance to see Katy Perry live.

A guy I did not know before the Katy Perry concert asked my husband's friend how he knew me, and my husband's friend said that I was the trophy husband of his best friend.  Ha!  (If you knew what I looked like, then you'd laugh too.)
The show was fun.  She can sing, she can dance, she can entertain.  The show had an endless stream of visual delights - at one point she flew around the arena!   Also, at one point she seemed very fragile as she cried through a song - I don't know if that was part of the show or if she's in a vulnerable place; I hope she's alright, because she's a top talent.

My favorite part of the show was when she was shooting fireworks inside the arena.  Very cool.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

One Percent Map

Business Insider released a U.S. map with rough estimates of what income a household would need to earn (rounded to the nearest thousand) in order to be in the top 1% of the income distribution in each state.  The results are surprising to read; when I think one percent-ers, I think of Daddy Warbucks.  I think of the idle rich, private planes, beach houses, lunch in Paris and four day weekends.

According to Business Insider in Texas, a household would need to earn $391,000 to be the top 1%.  Now, that's a tremendous amount of money, but if the income is earned from a paycheck, then the 1% still has to get up and go to work every day.  It's a lot less exciting than I thought.

Another data point in the article that is important to note is that in Texas the 2012 median household income is $50,740, which means if your household earns $51,000, then you're in the top half of income earners in Texas.

I keep thinking we cannot afford children, but based on these facts there is a state full of people raising families on a lot less money then we earn each year.  My husband's mother's bestie June told us two years ago: "you will never think you can afford kids, but once you have kids it'll all work out..."  She then encouraged us to trash our financial model.

It's a leap of faith.


We first ordered shutters for our bedroom windows in May.  It was a requirement because our bedroom had pink rose curtains circa 1994, which isn't our style. The shutter company sent a team to measure our windows.  The shutters arrived in July, but they did not fit this window.  It's not like I measured our window and called in the order - they sent professionals who measure windows for a living to measure our windows.

At least that's how I see it.

The wooden shutters arrived yesterday, and they look great - worth the four month wait.

I think I found inefficiency in the market place - someone can make millions if they can produce wooden shutters in less than 60 days.

At least that's how I see it.