Monday, February 29, 2016


This weekend my brother, my brother's wife, my 8 year old niece, my 5 year old niece, and my husband gathered in our home to celebrate the birth of my husband!  It was my husband's birthday weekend- a moment that should be celebrated!

While five of us were eating grilled fajitas in the kitchen, my 5 year old niece, Paxten, told her sister to watch the iPad sitting in the kitchen with the nursery camera feed on display.  Paxten ran upstairs and mooned the camera.  I could not stop laughing.  My brother had to parent through the moment, but as the uncle I was just laughing in the moment.

Paxten cracks me up.  I'm disappointed I didn't think of that move first!

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

I want to know...

...should I be worried when people find out we're having twins in 20-something days they always advise me to get some sleep while I can OR research hiring a night nanny?

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Oh Baby, I feel things...

This is not a cry for help.  (Don't worry, Mom!)  It's more of an observation. This blog is best when I'm completely honest....

In about 4 weeks two tiny people will be joining our household for the next ~18 years, and that is starting to scare the shit out of me.  Normal?

Our DINK life is over, forever.  We've had such a spectacular life.

If anyone is monitoring my standing, I'm officially in the freak out mode.  But, I didn't need to state the obvious.

I hope I don't fail on most levels of fatherhood.

I hope I figure out fatherhood, because right now when I think about fatherhood it's on the same level as when I think about taking a road trip with Oprah.  I can imagine how fun it's going to be, but it doesn't seem like it's really ever going to happen.  Except it IS happening.

I hope I don't forget to feed one of the babies - one time I was really busy with work and I forgot to feed Trigger, our non-human son.  It happened.  We should talk about it.  I'm sorry Trigger.  It's only happened once.  So far.

I hope I don't forget to feed the non human babies.  Trigger, Dooley, and Matt Damon we need to work together.

I hope I can still have a career.  I have more accomplishments to achieve.  Do primary caregivers with babies still achieve things?

I hope I don't become one of those extreme child focused parents that forgets about their marriage.  I see that a lot.  I think it happens slowly.  I still want my husband to look at me like I'm the most beautiful person in the world even though I am not.  I still want my favorite moments in life to revolve around my husband.

I hope so many things right now as I sit on the edge of fatherhood.  Fatherhood.

I'm certain I will find the courage, as all fathers do; but, right now my eyes are wide open, my mind is dazed, and I'm not on any drugs.  What's wrong with me?  Fatherhood?

It's happening.

I'm going to have a son and a daughter.  I am going to be a father!  A father.   For. The. Rest. Of. My. Life.

Should I count to three and jump?  F this. just jump-

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Nanny Issues

This is a first world problem: we've got nanny issues.  My husband and I are 0 for 3 in getting a nanny candidate to show up for an interview.  We still have 5 weeks before the twins are scheduled to arrive, and we're planning to take the first 12 weeks off from work to tend to our babies; however, since neither one of us plans to retire from work, we will need a full time nanny.

We've started socializing that we're looking for a full time nanny candidate with our friends and neighbors that have nannies.   We are delaying using an agency, since nanny agency fees are significant.

Yesterday, Nanny Candidate No. 3 called one hour before her scheduled interview and canceled,  She told me she felt terrible, but she's a Christian woman and she didn't think it was best for her to work in a two dad household.  She said a nanny is an extension of the parents and our values are not aligned, yadda, yadda, yadda.  She apologized three times and told me she felt terrible two times before I cut her off and thanked her for the call.

Last week Nanny Candidate No. 2 called one day before her scheduled interview and said she thought about our family and didn't think we were a match.

Last week Nanny Candidate No. 1 called and said our two houses were 28 miles apart and she didn't want such a long commute.

Now I'm starting to understand why nanny agency fees are so high.  It takes work to find a nanny.  But I'm really hoping our nanny will float down from the sky and stay until the wind changes.


Via my Instagram.

The Subconscious Mind

For Christmas this year my mother and my mother-in-law each generously gave me six sets of Royal Albert's Miranda Kerr designed 3-piece set of bone China; each set includes an 8 inch plate with a cup and saucer.  I am really looking forward to hosting a lovely spring dinner party where we can dine so wonderfully with this very feminine China.  The 8 inch plate will work lovely as a salad plate.  Or, I can host a tea party for twelve.

I enjoy fine China, sterling silverware, diamonds, and art.  Even though I'm middle aged, I don't own any China (beyond this tea set); I only have three place settings of Francis I Sterling by Reed and Barton; there's not a diamond under my roof, and the most exciting piece of art I own was given to me by my husband's dear friend Tim.  Interesting how these things go in life.  I recognize that this "stuff" (China! Silver! Diamonds! Art!) would not make me any happier in life but it still entertains me to a very great extent.  We all get our thrills in our own unique ways.

These 12 sets of 3-piece China delight me, perhaps more so since this is my first China, to a very great extent.  This week, after weeks of being back ordered, my husband's mother dropped off six sets in our house.

The sets arrive in hat boxes.  They're packaged beautifully. I quickly unpacked them and loaded them into my cabinets to enjoy looking at all 12 sets together.  That night I had dreams all night about accidentally throwing away an unpacked box of China.  The next morning, while I was about to truck the empty boxes to the recycling bend, I remembered my dreams.  I went inside and counted my China.  I only had 11 plates.  I counted five times.  I only had 11 plates.  I went through all the emptied boxes and I found one unpacked plate.  Now I have 12 plates.

Isn't that interesting?  My subconscious mind was yelling at me all night long: You forgot to unpack a plate!

Monday, February 8, 2016

Six Weeks Until Babies

It's official.  If the babies haven't arrived before this date, then Monday, March 21 is the date our surrogate, Morgan, will be induced.  It's THE birthday!  That will put the twins at 37 weeks and 2 days.  The journey to fatherhood has been full of surprises, but I would be surprised if they arrive before Monday, March 21; Morgan's body is happy pregnant.  On Friday our son was at 4 lbs. 4 oz. and our daughter was at 3 lbs. 15 oz., which puts my son's and daughter's weight ahead of most singleton pregnancies at this same stage.  Morgan knows how to nurture and grow babies.  It's wonderful.

On Saturday my parents came down to our house for a visit before they returned to their New Mexico house.  As they were departing I realized that the next time I will see my parents we will have babies in our arms.  It was an exciting and strange feeling.

So after years of saving, years of planning, and a year of working with an agency fatherhood is finally within reach.  Six weeks.  Or less.  Fatherhood is upon us.