Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Oh Baby, I feel things...

This is not a cry for help.  (Don't worry, Mom!)  It's more of an observation. This blog is best when I'm completely honest....

In about 4 weeks two tiny people will be joining our household for the next ~18 years, and that is starting to scare the shit out of me.  Normal?

Our DINK life is over, forever.  We've had such a spectacular life.

If anyone is monitoring my standing, I'm officially in the freak out mode.  But, I didn't need to state the obvious.

I hope I don't fail on most levels of fatherhood.

I hope I figure out fatherhood, because right now when I think about fatherhood it's on the same level as when I think about taking a road trip with Oprah.  I can imagine how fun it's going to be, but it doesn't seem like it's really ever going to happen.  Except it IS happening.

I hope I don't forget to feed one of the babies - one time I was really busy with work and I forgot to feed Trigger, our non-human son.  It happened.  We should talk about it.  I'm sorry Trigger.  It's only happened once.  So far.

I hope I don't forget to feed the non human babies.  Trigger, Dooley, and Matt Damon we need to work together.

I hope I can still have a career.  I have more accomplishments to achieve.  Do primary caregivers with babies still achieve things?

I hope I don't become one of those extreme child focused parents that forgets about their marriage.  I see that a lot.  I think it happens slowly.  I still want my husband to look at me like I'm the most beautiful person in the world even though I am not.  I still want my favorite moments in life to revolve around my husband.

I hope so many things right now as I sit on the edge of fatherhood.  Fatherhood.

I'm certain I will find the courage, as all fathers do; but, right now my eyes are wide open, my mind is dazed, and I'm not on any drugs.  What's wrong with me?  Fatherhood?

It's happening.

I'm going to have a son and a daughter.  I am going to be a father!  A father.   For. The. Rest. Of. My. Life.

Should I count to three and jump?  F this. just jump-


  1. You need not worry about any thing. Because you are aware of pitfalls that you have witnessed or read about, you won't make those mistakes. You have awareness; you are such a loving person. You've got this. I am certain. Everything will only be enhanced and made more wonderful.

  2. So when is the "road trip with Oprah," and why haven't you told me about it?