Friday, May 31, 2013

Dog People

My husband's parents have been married for almost 40 years.  I noticed that they exchanged dog themed anniversary cards this year, which made me laugh.  We are a family of dog people.  We're lucky because both our parents have been married for a long time.

Do you think dogs exchange people themed anniversary cards?

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Trigger Naps

Ever since I draped the sheep skin rug over our ottoman Trigger likes to nap in the living room.  I think it's funny when I discover him sleeping in the middle of the house.  Literally.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Modern Love

Our daughter's namesake, Sarah Dooley, emailed me the link (and some "X's" and "O's") to this New York Times article: Losing a ‘Boyfriend,’ the Best Way Possible by Augusten Burroughs.

You must read this article!  It is delightful. 

This article and its joyous spirit also reminds me; I love being gay, and I love my life.  In my childhood, in my adolescence, and if I'm honest also in my adulthood I often wished I liked girls instead of boys.  Oh, the challenges it created! And now as my feet are firmly planted in adulthood, because after all at 32 years old I can see the shore of middle agedom, I'm so happy I'm gay.  It's my life, and I love it.

Go appreciate what makes you different!


Tuesday, May 28, 2013


Our friend (and blog reader) Tim spent the weekend in Dallas with us.  We fed him lots of Texas food (BBQ and Tex-Mex) we went to a pool party, we went to the movies, we went to the lake, we hung out.  It was a nice (but fast) weekend.

Since Tim is a blog reader he read this February post about how much I love Dana Malcolm's art, and as a result he bought the painting I blogged about and sent it to us.  It's one of the biggest surprises I've ever experienced, because it was absolutely, totally, completely unexpected.   I received a text while at work from my husband: "you'll never guess what just arrived in the mail." A very true text.  I wasn't expecting to own the art I love!  Next, my husband sent a photo of this painting and said it was from Tim.  I gasped while at the office.  "Is everything alright?" my team asked me.   It was impossible for Tim to know that I've visited this painting online many times, and now (thanks to him) I can visit it in my home!

Tim was very humble about the whole thing.  He simply said that surprises in life are good.  I thanked him multiple times this weekend, but I've decided that the only way I can really thank him is by paying it forward.  Some time in the future we need to absolutely, totally, completely surprise someone!

Thank you Tim!

Monday, May 27, 2013

Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day!  In addition to our civilian friends we spent Sunday at my husband's parents' lake house with a Navy Seal, an Army helicopter pilot, and a CIA agent.  It was  a very patriotic day at the lake: jet skis, sailing, pontoon boating with a BBQ dinner and homemade ice cream and blackberry cobbler for dessert.

My husband's network has blown up since he's started working on his MBA.  The individuals that he meets and befriends are smart, interesting, and kind.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


“Someone always has to be first...and when there’s a great shining beacon who can be respected for who they are in addition to being in the L.G.B.T. community, that can make a big difference. Baylor is going to continue to tout her success in her skill set. There’s so much commercial benefit to Baylor and its national profile. And you can’t separate that from who she is. While it’s a one-off, that’s the way every important journey begins.”

Emerson Collins in The New York Times article discussing how Britney Griner might change Baylor University's relationship with its gay alumni.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Henry Makes Me Happy

This is our youngest nephew Henry.  He's the second son of my husband's sister.  Last week my husband's mother was visiting Henry and she sent these happy photos to us.

What my husband's mother didn't know is that right before she sent these photos I had to terminate an employee.  It's never fun to have to deliver bad news, but I always try to be direct and honorable.  Unfortunately, as a consultant I'm familiar with this drill.  My clients like to outsource this unpleasantness- I mean, wouldn't you?  My point is that it's always hard for me to terminate an employee even though I pretend otherwise, and I was feeling a bit tender on the inside when I received these photos.  These photos made my insides sing in celebration.  Henry is a beautiful happy baby boy, and I look forward to his trip to Texas this July.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Fatima Ronquillo

I discovered a new artist!  Fatima Ronquillo creates these interesting portrait type works.  They are sensational, and they make me smile!  You must check out her website to view additional masterpieces.  When I picked my husband up from the airport this weekend I told him the news: I discovered another artist and I need to purchase some of her works!

My husband said he NEEDed to have a discussion with me about need vs. want.  Subsequently when I showed him these paintings he proclaimed not to be a fan of Fatima Ronquillo's current works.  My husband and I have completely different taste in art.  We rarely agree.

I suppose that's a good thing for the bank account.

Art is such a personal experience.  Hooray for art!

Sunday, May 19, 2013


Did you watch SNL last night?  It had three funny gay-themed skits.  One was promoting New Xanax, which relieves the stress of attending spectacular (absolutely perfect) gay summer weddings, and another in which Ben Affleck's "ex-gay" character tries to pray the gay away at a summer camp.  And then Amy Poehler returned to the Weekend Update with Seth Meyers, which included farewell for Bill Hader and his character Stefon, who is seen about to marry Anderson Cooper.

Read all about it, here!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Natalie Maines

I have had Natalie Maines' fist solo album, Mother, playing constantly since it was released last week.  I think it's pretty spectacular.   The first track, Without You, the third track, Free Life, and the fifth track, Lover You Should've Come Over are my favorites.  Natalie can sing.

My husband (I'm so upset) does not think this album is spectacular.  Natalie has focused on lyrics and didn't really focus on the music...the words are her voice are amazing, but my husband thinks the music is uninteresting.  I do not agree with my husband.

Yes, if I was supreme leader of the land I would force Natalie to make new music with Emily and Martie a.k.a. the Dixie Chicks.   I love the three parts harmony with a fiddle and a banjo.   The Dixie Chicks rock it!    This solo session, which is spectacular, will hopefully lead Natalie back to the Dixie Chicks at some point.  Like Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac, like Gwen Stefani and No Doubt, and like and The Black Eyed Peas, I think it's okay for singers to pursue solo albums...I just hope Natalie also returns to the Dixie Chicks!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The Best Guest

Our friend Del is staying with us this week.   We love having him here, and it's a luxury to have another person that can help care for the dogs during the week.  One night for dinner Del cooked his famous macadamia nut encrusted Halibut, roasted brussels sprouts, roasted green beans, whipped potatoes, and an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink salad.  It was delicious. 

Del, can you stay another week?!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Seven Years of Heaven

On Saturday, May 13, 2006 in Austin, Texas in front of our most loved family and friends my husband and I solemnly promised to love and honor each other until the end.  It was a magical event.  We crystallized our commitment to each other.

It's been a wonderful seven years.  My biggest complaint is that we don't see each other enough.  That's a perennial complaint because I could spend 24 hours a day with my husband and still it would not be enough.  It is never enough.

We've been waiting for seven years for our state (Texas) and our country (USA) to recognize what we know is true; we are married.  Our love is equal to the love my brother has for his wife.  Our love is equal to the love my father has for my mother.  Our love is equal to the love my husband's father has for my husband's mother.  Our love is equal.

Monday, May 13, 2013

A Giant Mouse

Yes, I am responsible for the sound of high-pitched girl screaming in our back yard yesterday around 11:00 AM.  No, there wasn't a girl in our back yard.  Yes, this 32-year old balding man can sound like a tween pigtailed girl when I am unexpectedly startled.

Here's how it happened...

Since I am a dog lover, part of my weekly routine is to put on a pair of latex gloves and go around the back yard picking up after my dogs.  It's not my favorite job, but it must be done if we want to enjoy the backyard, since we have two dogs and a small yard.  I usually pick up the yard, and then cut the grass.  I had picked up the entire yard when I began to reach for the last pile of browness...and I unexpectedly noticed the browness was a giant dead mouse.  I screamed like a girl. I dropped my bag.  I ran around the yard kicking and scream and trying to shake the fear out of me.

My husband came outside to check on the commotion   I told him there's a dead mouse in the grass that I  almost touched.  It scared me.  I didn't want to pick it up.  He didn't want to pick it up.  So my husband went inside to ask our visiting friend Del to go remove the dead mouse from the backyard.

I thought about this.  Del is fearless.  I was certain he'd come pick it up.   But I also don't like that a dead animal can send me into an uncontrollable noisy disturbance.  I had pet hamster named Oreo growing up.  What's to be scared of?  I can do this.  I went to the garage and found the shovel with the longest handle.  (Note to self: research if they make shovels with telescoping handles.)  I try to do things that scare ensure my life stays interesting.  I held on to the very, very end of the shovel.

Del arrived in our back yard, with a gloved hand,  ready to take care of business the moment I was scooping up our dead friend.

"That ain't no mouse.  That's a f#cking rat." Del stated as he helped me jimmy the dead guy into the sack.  I squirmed.  Del was right.  This creature was the size of chihuahua with a tail as long as a grass snake.   Yikes.  A rat!

I guess this explains the blood I found on Trigger earlier.  He had blood on his face, but he didn't have any cuts.  Our son is a hunter.   And I am not afraid of rats.  (As long as they are dead and I have my long shovel.)

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

Did you see that The New Yorker had two moms (a lesbian couple!) on their cover today!!!

"For Mother’s Day, the New Yorker celebrates marriage equality with this heart-warming cover of a two-mom family by cartoonist extraordinaire Chris Ware."

Our friend Del (homosexual) has two grown daughters.  The family joke is that on Mother's Day the daughters like to call and wish their father a Happy Mother's Day.  His oldest daughter jokes that he is the best mother!

Secretly I hope our future children do the same thing!  It's funny and sweet.

Mother's Day

My mother and father drove to Dallas so we could take them out to lunch to celebrate Mother's Day.  (My husband's mother is visiting my husband's sister and was unavailable for lunch!)  My parents and my husband and I dinned on fried chicken, crab cakes, squash puppies, mashed potatoes, friend okra,  cheese grits, collared greens, and biscuits & cornbread at Sissy's Southern Kitchen on Henderson Ave.  It was a fat kid lunch that made afternoon yoga challenging. I always enjoy spending time with my parents.

We bought my mother a tricolored overnight bag as a gift and encouraged her to come see us more often!

Both of us have loving mothers.  Mother's Day is an important day!

Love you Mom!

Thursday, May 9, 2013


"My uncle Mike has been with my uncle Frank for 35 years.  I grew up never seeing a difference between gay and straight people.  [Acceptance] has got to start in the home."

- Michael Buble

Wednesday, May 8, 2013


"Delaware will become the 11th state (along with D.C.) to have marriage equality."

Find the Funny

One of the coping mechanisms I deploy in my life is to always find the humor in any situation.  When I was growing up my father and my brother were the comedians of our household.  As a result, I don't consider myself a funny man, but I enjoy funny moments.    This photo is a clear example of finding humor in the ridiculousness.  The "Christians" are protesting gays.  That's hurtful to gays.  However, this photo makes me laugh.

Find the funny.  It makes life more enjoyable.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

My Heart Exploded

My brother and his two girls, my parents, and I all met for dinner.  (My husband is still out of town.) When our 5 year old niece, Presley, handed me this piece of paper my heart exploded in love.  "I made it for you Pat-Pat." she said as I read the words "I love you Pat Pat."

One of the huge bonuses in my life is being an uncle.  We have two nieces and two nephews.  They bring me so much joy.  My brother's wife let me hold both of my nieces within their first hour of life.  The magic started from that moment in the hospital and continues today.

Presley is the one that made me an uncle.

I didn't think I could love her any more...

...but then she gave me this artwork.

I love her more.

Monday, May 6, 2013

My Little Ballerina

Our nieces are girly girls.  They like princesses, wearing my mother's lip stick and anything pink or purple or rainbow.  Yes, Presley's favorite color is "rainbow."  This is a picture my brother sent to me of Paxten at her ballet class.  She's the cutest and smallest 3 year old ballerina.

I love her.  So much! 

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Weekend Wrap Up

I put my much anticipated weekend to good use, I think.  I slept 10 hours at least on Friday and Saturday.  I went to yoga both days.  I had dinner with my parents, my brother, and my nieces.  I worked in the backyard.  I trimmed the hedges.  I washed the car.  I got a massage.  I cleared out my DVR. I went shopping. I missed my husband.

It was a relaxing weekend.

Monday morning is a few hours away, and I'm starting to panic about all the work I didn't do this weekend.  I could start working now.  Or, I could deal with it all in the morning.

I vote the morning.  It's 8:30 on a Sunday night.  I'm going to fold some clothes and go to bed early.

Still missing my husband.

Friday, May 3, 2013


It's important to enjoy each moment of life, but sometimes you just have to survive the week.  This week I've been living for Friday evening.  I've been working a ton, and I'm ready for a weekend where I just sleep, work out, and sleep.

My uncle and I have a tradition where Friday afternoon we text or call each other and say: "Best part of the weekend!"  In a few hours the weekend will be all in front of us.  

Enjoy your Friday!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013


"I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay.

"I didn't set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I'm happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn't the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, 'I'm different.' If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I'm raising my hand."

-Jason Collins in Sports Illustrated 

Thank you Jason Collins. I'm out at work too. It's going to bring you so much peace. I'm happiest about your statement because children are always listening. I know your statement brings hope to the gay boys and gay girls. Yes kids, you can be a professional athlete and gay.

Thank you Jason Collins!