To maintain expectations, the soonest we could be pregnant is July 2015. We're still looking at about 13 months before baby(ies) is/are under our roof. We have attorneys, contracts, egg donors, embryos and a surrogate to get ready before July. Yesterday, my husband and I went and donated our part of the baby making equation.
It was incredibly awkward and a little bit funny. We each were given our own "collection room". They were cleaning my room - so my husband went in first. A few minutes later they came to get me. There was a sink, a brown vinyl recliner (no way in hell I'm sitting in that chair), a small television, and a DVD player in my collection room.
While I was waiting on my room, I received a text from one of my straight buddy Ryan: "Good luck today. Don't take too long in there, but don't be too fast either. The important thing to remember is that the nurses are out there judging you."
I was giggling at the situation.
The "collection room" had a very clinical feeling, which is appropriate; however, to help me out they placed on the table two DVD's of men flexing their muscles and posing for the camera. I read the backs of both DVD's but it wasn't that interesting. Clearly a straight person picked out the DVD's catering to the homos in the collection room. However, someone accidentally left a movie for a hetero male in the DVD player. I was curious - I was still giggling on the inside, and my husband won't know I was watching a movie for straight guys - so I hit play. The title was something like Young Babes II; it must be good if they made a sequel...
The situation could not get any more awkward, right? I just handed over a urine sample to a very beautiful young nurse. Two nurses had just taken a lot of blood out of my right arm, which meant my right hand was cold. A cold right hand was not helping me for the task at hand...let's just say I am not ambidextrous. I think this would have been easier if my husband was in here too.
I was standing. (Because I was not sitting in the community chair in the collection room.) My pants were down around my ankles. I punched the triangle on the DVD player. I was still trying to warm up my right hand when the "movie" started. Oh my. The movie was insane; it was staring very large men and very skinny women. I was in a trance. I kept watching. My hand was still cold. Burr. I could hear the nurses outside in the hallway. I started thinking about Ryan's text: The important thing to remember is that the nurses are out there judging you. I heard my husband in the hallway he was already finished. Was I taking too long? I tried to focus. Focus. Focus. Focus.
All the sudden (surprise!) I needed the collection cup, but I wasn't close to the collection cup. The small room now seemed enormous. I waddled over (my pants were down) and grabbed the cup just in time to get most (but not all) of the collection.
Fatherhood here we come.
Hahahahahahahah! You are sooo funny! I loved this story. We are trying via surrogacy as well, same time as you :), I want to wish you Best of Luck! I hope it works out for both our families on the first try, fingers crossed!ReplyDelete