I have needs.

I panicked last week when I realized Design Within Reach was no longer stocking Bitossi Ceramics in Rimini Blu.  I grabbed my credit card and quickly purchased two planters.  I love this stuff.  I have two vases from my parents and one bowl that was originally on deck to give to my mother, but I gifted it to myself instead.  Oopsie.

Frequently my husband encourages me to stop buying stuff.  "Do you NEED it?" is the question he likes to ask me.  The word "need" is always overly emphasized when he asks me too.  "Where is this item located on the budget?" is another question he likes to ask.  "Stop buying stuff!" is his favorite line.

The two planters, that I needed, arrived broken.  Design Within Reach apologized, and fully refunded the amount on our credit card.  Since they were sold out and no longer carrying the Bitossi Ceramics in Rimini Blu this was the only option.

My husband couldn't be happier.  He thinks god might be on his side.  I think god is cruel.

Cake is Love

My mother tried a new pound cake recipe, which she received from a former student on Facebook.  She baked the cake, and then sent it home with me.  Cake is love.  It's delicious.  It's too good to share with people that aren't passionate about pound cake!  I wonder how many yoga classes I will have to take to offset eating an entire pound cake?  Do you only gain a pound of fat from eating an entire pound cake?

Thank you mom.  I love you.

QOTD

"It's ludicrous that my friends in California aren't able to legally get married.  It's a civil rights issue.  In 20 years we're going to look back at tapes of these anti-gay people saying ridiculous things on the news and it's going to sound as antiquated as the newsreels of horrible racists from the '50s. Why is marriage equality important to me?  Because I'm a decent human being."

- Busy Philipps in the February 2013 edition of The Advocate magazine.

"Girls" Weekend in Dallas

I have four college friends named Missy, Anne, Elisa, and Julia.  They are my bitches. Missy lives in Midland, Texas.  Anne lives in San Antonio, Texas.  Elisa lives in Little Rock, Arkansas.  Julia lives in Sidney, Australia.  I received a text from Australia saying that Julia wanted to have a "girls" weekend in Dallas.  For better or worse they count me as one of the girls!  They have a sisterhood that has lasted beyond college, husbands, heartbreaks, and the joy of motherhood.  They are the greatest of friends, and somehow for years I have fit into the mix.   I am not part of the sisterhood, but I am part of the group.  It was a fast weekend.  We were in a loop that included lots of food, beer, wine, coffee, micheladas, and bloody marys....food, beer, wine, coffee, micheladas, and bloody marys...

It was a girls weekend, but I am not a girl.  I did not have a sister.  I am not married to a lady. It's weekends like this when I realize I am not used to girls.  I spent a lot of my weekend waiting on girls to get ready. They would proclaim they were ready to leave, but then it would be another 15 more minutes before anyone was actually walking out the door.  I think this is normal?  It's normal for men to wait on women?  Why?  I don't understand?

It was a silly weekend.  We walked around the lake.  Hung out at bars, restaurants, and our home.  We did headstands until midnight one night.  Missy and Julia taught me how to do a handstand. My husband ignored us so he could study, but he'd jump in for dinners and ignore us again...and then complain about late night rowdiness the next morning!

Presley is Five

And just like that, woosh, five years has come and gone since the birth of the little lady that magically turned us into uncles.  It has been a very speedy five years.  This weekend my husband studied at home while I attended Presley's "Princess and the Popstar" themed 5th birthday party at the Urban Air indoor trampoline park.  It was wonderful to see Presley and her sister Paxten bounce around with their friends.  Presley had over 20 friends attend her party.  (Do I have 20 friends?!)

And for her birthday we're taking Presley to pick out an American Girl doll.  Perhaps we will go this weekend?

(Presley turned us into uncles and perhaps one day we can turn her and her sister into cousins!)

Confused Raccoon

My husband and I were walking Trigger around 4:00 PM this afternoon in our east Dallas neighborhood when we happened upon a very confused adult raccoon shuffling through the street.  We stopped and watched as he approached a recently parked car.  The raccoon was attracted to motion; the raccoon would walk towards any movement. The raccoon saw us and started shuffling our way.  Instinctively we knew something was off with this confused raccoon.  How do you help a wild animal?    Was this raccoon a stroke victim?  Was he poisoned or was he rabid? We listened to our gut.  We turned around and left the raccoon alone.  The neighbors were going to call animal control.

It reminded me of the moment in To Kill A Mockingbird when the rabid dog is in the street.  I wish Atticus Finch lived in our neighborhood.  He'd know what to do...

List Your Strengths

This really happened.  You might want to sit down.  My client, who's a happily married man, was interviewing a new hire candidate, who's a woman.  She was a grown woman interviewing for an accounting clerk position in the home office of an oil field services company.  My client (the boss) was the last person to interview her and at some point he asked her to lists some of her strengths.

She listed as one of her strengths: She was really good at giving blow jobs.

Seriously.  In a job interview. She said she was really good at giving blow jobs.

She didn't get the job.

To be fair, my client didn't narrow the scope of the question.  It was his fault that he didn't ask for her work-related strengths only.  She was just trying to answer the questions, completely and thoroughly.  However, everyone knows that gay guys give the best blow jobs, which means if a woman is listing "really good at giving blow jobs" as one of her strengths, then she's a liar!  We don't hire liars.