Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Our Slice of Time

I was listening to an interview with Gail Collins author of When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to Present. She wrote this book because during a research assignment she discovered that women of the year 1000 were treated the same as women of 1960. (They were their husband's wives; they didn't have many choices because women reared children and served their husband.) Everything changed after 1960.

During the interview Ms. Collins made a brilliant point: aren't women lucky to be living in this slice of time where they have endless choices? It's an astonishing point. Women have only gained freedom in the last 50 years? Incredible.

I parlayed this thought into the gay community. Gay men, such as me and my husband have only been free to be out and open in the past 10 to 15 years. I feel so lucky to be alive in this slice of history. We met, feel in love, had a wedding in front of our friends and family...yadda, yadda, yadda. I don't know if we'd have the same life if we were born 20 years earlier.

The world still has a long way to go. I still want to have equal rights under the federal and state laws as my brother and his wife. And sometimes I get tired of all the first I hear people say: " This is our first gay wedding." and "You're our first gay neighbors." and, "I've never had two men on the same home owners insurance policy before- this is a first." and "You're our first gay employee." and "This is the first time I've seen two guy's names on a check- are you roommates?" One day I want my gayness to not be a first. I agree, we're lucky to be living at this time, but the world still have a long way to go- that's another post another day. For this blog post, I want to be thankful that I AM living in this slice of history even if it's not perfect. I love my husband. I love my life. We're lucky to be alive at this moment in time. I guess somebody has to be first?


  1. This is my first gay blog to read.

  2. You will be proud to know you are my SECOND gay cousin-in-law. That must be progress. Let's at least be heartened that change is picking up speed? Oh, and you are an inspiration and I love you!