Monday, March 21, 2016

I Love Our Village

My husband and I are extremely fortunate to live at this time on this spot on earth.  I don't forget that truth, ever.  We're two legally married gay men with two children.  We are celebrated by our village of friends and family - not shunned.  The arrival of the twins has brought such generosity and kindness and support to our front door.  It is support that we greatly appreciate and very much require to fully engage in our newest and most important roles as fathers.

First, it all started before the twins were born where friends hosted showers which allowed more friends and family to prep us with baby gear - great loads of baby gear!  Next, with the twins early arrival two weeks ago we've had more acts of love sent our way.  We've received cards, clothes for the babies, food, flowers and handmade quilts.

Every such gift of kindness and support is uplifting in sleepy moments of getting two preemies to eat, sleep, grow, and getting two mid-thirty year olds educated on life with babies.  I've learned so much in two weeks.

When the twins were in the hospital we bonded with the NICU nurses; one NICU nurse named Kara gave me some very profound advice at a late night feeding.   I think I was almost in tears when Susanna spit up the bottle I just worked really hard to give to her.  Kara told me I must have grace for myself and we must have grace for each other.   I've thought about that advice when I get into unpleasant moments of taking care of two babies.  I laugh at myself, learn from the situation, and move on!

With my new wisdom I will engage in a different way the next time someone else in my village gives birth - I will be dropping off hot food, stocking freezers with homemade meals, or sending cards and flowers.  I will pay it forward by reminding new parents, like Kara reminded me, to have a little grace for yourself and your spouse.