Have you read The Martian? More importantly, have you watched The Martian? The film stars Matt Damon - my favorite Hollywood icon. You must watch the movie for the lovely acting and shirtless moment delivered by Matt Damon. (Swoon.)
The final moment in the film when Mark Watney (Damon) is explaining his key to successful survival if frequently played in the internal workings of my mind:
"At some point, everything's gonna go south on you... everything's going to go south and you're going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem... and you solve the next one... and then the next. And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home. All right, questions?"
For some reason, I think the wisdom obtained from Mark Watney's survival on Mars is relevant to my survival of the first five weeks of fatherhood.
I am grateful for our son and our daughter and our time together so far. I glow in much love and gratitude for my life in its current state. At night when the babies are sleeping, my dogs are sleeping, and my husband is sleeping I pause to say thank you to the universe and my beautiful normal everyday life. This is all I really ever wanted in life: A two story house, the best husband, babies and lots and lots of dogs.
I'm living my dream and it's kicking me in the ass.
Having twins is not easy. My current analysis at 5 weeks is that this is so much more difficult than I expected. We have nieces and nephews, and when I was 18 years old I lived with my cousin for two months in Austin and she had a toddler and an infant. I felt prepared. I was not prepared.
The joyous news is that the babies are thriving. At the one month visit our pediatrician said he could not be more pleased with their progress. Success. This is what success feels like? I'm enjoying the daily challenges of fatherhood. I'm really enjoying watching my husband be a father - he's good at everything. And like Mark Watney said, "at some point, everything's gonna go south on you...you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin...you solve one problem...and you solve the next one..."